The Universal Fire Breathing Monitor Lizard Battle Axe

Vigorous, cosmical dominant, full of apocalyptic intent I landed at the abandoned calcutta airport. After a blowout I wandered into the jungle. And the wings got in the way until they dropped off. - Night fell - I burrowed myself a hole and wriggled inside. It felt so good that I burrowed in ecstasy. Moving for miles and miles and miles. Moving until finally I was a perfect supersonic wriggler. So my arms and feet got in the way until they dropped off. - Dark reigned - And while wrigglin' through the subterranean universe I kept my eyes closed to protect them from the dirt. But in the end it made no difference. Eye apparatus got in the way somehow I forgot to look. And out of the blue a heavy granite wall smacked me on the head! "Hey, what the fuck!" I thought. "It smacked me on the head!" I thought. I climbed the wall all panic stricken. - Then - It begans to bubble and flapps were flapping. I was proably on the Atlantic bed. But now I had gills - Thank heaven thank earth. But now I had gills, even though I hadn't noticed it before. And they worked great hah, hah - hah hah. I'm the Universal Fire Breathing Monitor Lizard Battle Axe.